Maelstrom
by the coal dust fairy
Summary: "They've made their first move," Haymitch says bluntly and turns to Martyn with a hard look on his face. "Are you ready to make yours? You better be, because your prep time is up." Martyn's eyes are closed and he breathes in deeply. His hand squeezes yours comfortingly and then he opens his eyes, looking straight at Haymitch. "Let the Games begin." AU, Katniss in 72nd Hunger Games.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Hunger Games**_** belong to Suzanne Collins, so any recognisable characters therefore belong to her. I'm just playing in the sandbox and making up some stuff that I hope you enjoy. Beta work is done by the wonderful **_**stephibaby**_** who is both an invaluable resource and an irreplaceable friend. She has put up with so much insanity and emotional turmoil in the last week or so as this began to fall together - I do believe I owe her at least a home-cooked dinner and bottle of Gossips.  
**

_The District 12 mine explosion changed everything, just like the silo accidents in 11 and the fires in 8. So many families were left broken, some beyond repair, as the names of the deceased were broadcast across Panem._

_You were lucky; your father was only wounded. Mother says he might never regain all his strength or mobility but your family is lucky nonetheless. The Hawthornes lost their husband and father and that role fell to the eldest son. Your papa is still there when you return from school. He looks at the sky in the mornings at dawn, when you leave to hunt with the eldest Hawthorne son, and tells you what will be easiest to find or catch. He is there to sing you and your sister to sleep each night. Those moments are when you count yourself the luckiest._

_You're lucky until the Reaping Day of the 72nd Hunger Games, at least._

_**i.**_

The morning of the Reaping dawns much as the morning of your first and second ones did. Prim is happily nestled into your mother's side and you brush your fingers lightly over her forehead as you leave the room and pretend not to see the flicker of eyelashes as your mother watches you.

It only takes you a moment to shrug your hunting jacket on and slide your feet into well-worn boots before joining your father beside the fire. He smiles at you, a nervous edge in the set of his teeth, and you return the warmest smile you can muster as he squeezes your hand in greeting.

"Morning, Papa."

He pats your leg. "Throw out your fishing lines to begin with and then come back to them. It's good weather for turkey and geese too; try and keep an eye out for them. Berry bushes should be ripe for the picking as well."

You nod and bend to kiss his cheek before picking up the game bags from beside the door. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Your sister left you a gift on the table," he says with a slightly softer, less worried smile. You find a small goat cheese wrapped in basil leaves under a bowl and a similar smile turns the corners of your own lips up.

You pretend not to notice the longing in his eyes as you slip out of the house. When you were younger, before the mining accident that stole most of his mobility, hunting was your time together. At your father's knee you learned how to shoot, how to trap, how to fish, how to skin and gut the catches. He taught you everything you needed to survive much as Gale Hawthorne's father had taught him.

It's because of that that your families are still alive. With your father unable to work, Gale's gone, Prim and the other Hawthornes too young, your mother a healer and Gale's a laundrywoman there are a lot of mouths to feed and very little money.

Tesserae does only a little except increase your chances of being Reaped and your mother has too soft a heart to turn much of a profit on healing. Hunting and foraging keep everyone fed and clothed, patching the wounds in your families that were opened by the mining accident. Often you go in the mornings before school some days to get through the week but on Sundays you and Gale do as much as possible to lessen the burden.

Reaping day means no school or work and so a large hunt is the best way to spend the hours before the ceremony. Usually your morning route leads you past lines and lines of trudging miners venturing under the ground but today everyone sleeps while they can.

Your wandering mind quiets as you reach the fence that encloses District 12. The tell-tale hum of electricity is absent and with a cursory glance you slip through the gap easily. The sky begins to lighten as you gather your bearings. Half a mile away is the tree where your father's bow hides in a hollow and a hundred yards from there is where the matching quiver rests in another hollow. You break into a jog towards the stream where you throw out the fishing lines and turn back towards the District.

Gale Hawthorne is lounging on a rock in your usual clearing like a giant, insouciant cat. "Morning Catnip," he rumbles with a lazy smile.

Nodding your own greeting and sitting beside the rock, you bring out the cheese from Prim. "Prim left us a gift today."

Gale's smile widens and he rolls over, reaching down beside the rock and picking up a loaf of bread with an arrow shoved jauntily through. "Cheese! Thank you, Prim! We've got the makings to have ourselves a right Hunger Games feast."

"May the odds be _ever_in your favour!" you chirp as he throws you a chunk of fresh, steaming bread.

You are both contentedly indulging in bread, cheese and a handful of scavenged blackberries when Gale breaks the companionable silence. "Are you scared?"

You finish chewing the mouthful and swallow carefully before nodding slightly. Gale nods as well. "We should try and get as much as possible in case the worst happens."

Letting out a breath, you sigh. "I think so too."

When you finish eating you head straight for the lake as Gale sets out to check the collection of snares. Several hours later you are dividing the haul between the several game bags and praying that it fetches enough to keep your families from immediately starving if the worst happens.

You are both heading back towards the fence when you come upon the last group of snares with four rabbits caught in them and bring the day's haul to a more than respectable level. Gale is carrying the majority of the game, but your bag is laden with tubers, berries, nuts, rabbits and squirrels and you feel satisfaction settle deep in your belly as you realise your family is going to be able to eat for a while longer.

Trading four waterfowl, half a dozen rabbits, a squirrel, ten trout and a beaver at the Hob, you and Gale leave with an array of vegetables, lard, salt, grain and a not inconsiderable amount of money which is split two ways. A pint of strawberries goes to the Mayor for another handful of coins between the pair of you, and the last squirrel to the baker. He offers two loaves of bread for it, which you both gratefully accept.

Splitting the rest of the berries, tubers and hazelnuts evenly, you take a loaf each. Gale takes the turkey, six trout and a pair of rabbits while you take the duck, the remaining rabbits and trout.

Winking, Gale smiles and bumps you affectionately as your house comes into view. "We'll have a right banquet when we all get home from the Reaping," he says quietly. "I'm sure our mothers have already arranged it."

Smiling in response, you nod and make your way to the front door.

Your father struggles to his feet as Prim swings the door open and your mother gently helps him to his feet and across the room to the scrubbed wooden table. Prim takes the traded goods from your arms and you hoist the game onto the table. "Big haul," you say, offering a smile.

Loose blonde curls frame her small face as Prim looks up curiously. "How many things?"

You count the different things out for her and she adds them up proudly as she organises everything into piles for storing. "Nine things! That's a lot, Katniss."

A wide smile cracking his face, your father tugs at the game bag. "It is indeed!"

He insists upon skinning and gutting them himself. You think he does it to feel as though he is still a provider for the family and let him take your knife as your mother hugs you tightly. "There's enough there for three weeks if we're careful," she whispers against your hair.

You turn the coins from your pockets into her apron and let out the breath you had been unwittingly holding. "Preserve as much of the meat as you can. To help if I don't get into the woods again for a while."

Her breath hitches for a moment. "Oh baby. I wish this burden wasn't yours."

You all have a slice of fresh bread spread thinly with more cheese from Prim's pet goat and indulge yourselves with the fresh berries and a handful of hazelnuts. "We'll have duck and vegetables for dinner," your mother promises as she hurries you into the tub.

Prim and your father sing the valley song as you wash feverishly.

Their voices soothe your nerves a little, but nothing takes away the knowledge that there are fifteen slips with your name written on them in the reaping bowl today and any one of those is a death sentence.

There is a pretty sky blue dress laid out for you and your mother sits behind you on the bed to do the buttons up. She kisses your hair before she begins to twist it into a series of elegant braids on the back of your head.

It is time for the Reaping and you can only hope you escape.

_**ii**_.

"Katniss Everdeen!"

You stomach turns to lead instantly. Overwhelming silence is the only answer. The silence is in turn broken only by Effie Trinket.

"Where are you, Katniss? Come on up and join us!"

The crowd begins to part around you as your feet start walking forward of their own volition. You can hear muffled cries all of a sudden and know that they come from Prim, sobbing into your father's chest. You refuse to look back at them and simply follow your feet.

Effie looks even stranger up close and you don't listen to her prattle as she bustles about and draws the name of the male tribute. A figure steps up and the height and colouring are similar enough to Gale that you panic briefly before recognising him.

His name is Martyn Arnaud and he's from the Seam too. This was his final year in the Reaping. His mother helps Hazelle Hawthorne sometimes and his father is now a trader in the Hob who was only out of the mines the day of the explosion by luck. He's an only child.

_**iii.**_

The room they show you into is for you to say your goodbyes. You've barely looked around it once when the door flies open and you see Madge Undersee standing in the doorway with wide eyes for scarcely a second before her arms are around your neck. "Madge," you say and can't quite think of anything else to add.

"I have a token for you," she says after she lets you go and her voice doesn't waver at all as she attaches a pretty golden pin to your dress. "It's a mockingjay, for good luck. For sitting with me at lunch and for the strawberries every week and because you're my only friend."

You catch her hand and squeeze it quickly, offering as much of a smile as you can muster. "I'll make sure you get it back," you whisper.

She nods before letting your hand go and leaving without another word as your family enter.

Your father is in pain from walking, you can see it in his eyes, but he still pulls you into his lap as he reaches the sofa. His big hands hold your face as he looks at you steadily. Your eyes sting with tears as you see the same moisture welling in his.

Prim curls into his side and clutches tightly at your arm as your mother kneels. "Katniss, you have to come home," Prim whispers and the terror in her voice makes your throat tighten painfully.

"It'll be okay," you promise even as your own voice trembles. You don't take your eyes from your father's face. "Gale will bring you game when he can and you know how to forage. The list of things just like we practiced, remember? I promise you won't starve. Sell the milk from Lady and the baker will pay well for your cheeses. Do what you can with healing and make sure the coins I brought home today last as long as possible. There are some dried strips of meat in the back of the cupboard that will last a while. Promise me you will _not_take any tesserae if I don't come back."

"We'll be fine," your mother says thickly as her hands flutter over your legs nervously. She finally clutches your knee. "Katniss, you can do this."

"Promise me!" you say as desperation cracks your voice and your father's hands begin to shake against your face.

"I won't take it," Prim says softly. "I promise I won't take any even if you don't come back."

"Katniss," your father says sharply. His eyes are clearer now and you blink a few times, trying to regain focus. "Do you remember what I told you when you were eight and we came across that boar in the woods?"

You're still trying to focus as your mother's hand tightens on your knee.

"Everything has a weakness." His voice is low and harsh. "Everyone will have a weak spot and all you have to do it find it. The boar's was its' eyes and that's where we shot it. Do you remember?"

"Yes Papa," you say, and you do remember. You were amazed that one arrow to the eye could take down something so big. You shoot everything there now, when you can. It minimises damage and maximises efficiency._ A weak spot_.

"The other tributes will have weak spots, Katniss. Find them and exploit them and you will come home to us."

He pulls you to him and you hold tight, breathing deeply. "I love you."

You whisper it back against his neck, stubble scraping over your cheek as he pulls away and lets your mother wrap you in her arms.

"Come back to me, my little huntress."

Prim sobs a goodbye and the Peacekeepers escort them from the room.

"I love you!" you cry from your place, crumpled against the side of the sofa as they leave.

You've barely composed yourself when Gale crosses the threshold looking as stricken as you feel. "Catnip," he says breathlessly and before you can even think of a response you find yourself in his arms.

"Please don't let them starve," you beg after long moments of silence. Your arms ache already from the strain of holding him so tightly. "Please."

"Of course," he says raggedly. "They're going to be fine. I promise. You need to concentrate on you. Find a bow and hole up in the forest somewhere with a water source. You'll outlast them all. You can do this, you can win. I _know _you can."

"The Careers, Gale," you say blankly. "I won't stand a chance against someone built like you coming at me with a knife. I'm skinny and only fourteen and from _here_. They're going to slaughter me."

He pulls back and grips your shoulders hard. "You're a _hunter_, Katniss," he says fiercely. "You are more of a survivor than anyone else who might be in that arena. You're strong and resourceful and you know how to survive when all the odds are stacked against you. These are objects, _prey_, things standing in your way of getting home. You have to come home."

"Will you take care of them if I don't?" you whisper as you try not to shy from his gaze. "Prim can't hunt to save her own life and Papa wouldn't be able to get through the fence or shoot again even if he tried. Please look after them if I can't come home."

"I'll look after them while you're gone. I'll look after _you _when you come home."

The Peacekeepers nod their heads to him to say that his time is up and he ignores them. He does not take his eyes from you and it feels like he is trying to remember every single detail of your face.

They proceed to remove him from the room forcibly but his eyes don't leave yours until the door closes.

_**iv.**_

You're hustled into a car and driven towards the train station. Your home passes your eyes in a flash through the windows. Dirt and coal and dust and shacks and the woods and everything you've ever known flies past you for what you realise is probably the last time. Closing your eyes is all you can do because the realisation is too much.

The train's opulence makes you sick to your stomach. The carpet is thicker and plusher than any mattress in the Seam and you don't even know what any of the buttons in the shower do when Effie ushers you into your bathroom. Coming out clean is the most you can manage and you struggle back into your Reaping dress because it still smells like your mother.

You force yourself to stay away from the windows and instead sit on the floor and wind your fingers through the thick, shaggy carpet. Sometimes you fiddle with the pin from Madge that is still on your dress and sometimes you wonder whether you're going to wake up soon and find that this was all just one long, horrible dream and you haven't even been hunting yet.

Maybe it isn't even Reaping Day and the Hunger Games are a bad dream too.

Effie calls you for dinner and meets you in the hallway. Martyn comes out from the compartment across from yours and walks beside you. By the time you reach the dining area, his hand is steady on your shoulder and you blink determinedly, trying to bite back a sob. The sight of the food spread over the table and Effie Trinket's unbearably bright smile does nothing but send a pang of anguish through you.

Your mother promised roast duck tonight and you wish more than anything in the world that you were at your scrubbed wooden table watching Prim sneakily palm little bits of meat to Buttercup.

_**v.**_

Haymitch is drunk and Effie is from the Capitol and Martyn reminds you of home and Gale and your father and you feel your heart breaking with every rotation of the train's wheels.


	2. Chapter 2

_**i.**_

The Reaping recaps make dread settle in your heart and your stomach turn to lead around the heavy lump of rich Capitol food you can't seem to digest. Haymitch is muttering drunkenly into his bottle and Effie is watching in rapture. Martyn sits beside you like a wall of warmth and you repeat fiercely to yourself that _he is not Gale_.

The Careers look as terrifying as they always do but you've never had to imagine what they'll look like bearing down on you with that horrible smile they all seem to share and something sharp in their hands until now.

There are two girls a little younger than you Reaped from 7 and 8. The one from 7 reminds you of Prim. Your stomach is unsettled and your fingers tremble against your thighs.

All of the other tributes this year are older than you and your father told you that everyone has a weak spot. All you have to do is find it. You can't see any weak spots yet. The Careers look gleeful but the others look fierce and unsurprised and you imagine that they're the ones who have taken out tesserae for every member of their family from the time they were eligible for the Reaping. Like you.

When the commentators start discussing early bets and first impressions, Haymitch rises abruptly. "Get to bed," he says gruffly and everyone disperses.

Sometime later, you're sitting on the floor of your room with the carpet beneath your fingers again when someone knocks on the door. Martyn doesn't wait for permission before opening the door and sitting in front of you.

"Katniss?"

His hand is big and callused and still a little dirty as it reaches over and covers both of yours. You look up at him and aren't really sure why he's in your room because you're both on your way to the Capitol. That's where they're going to throw you in an arena with 22 other teenagers who will have to spill every ounce of your blood to go home and his kindness here and now makes no sense to you.

"You're going to be okay," he says and his voice is low and rumbly. It makes you realise that he is basically a man and he could win the Games. You wonder why he is being nice to you.

"Why are you being nice to me?"

His front teeth are a little crooked when he smiles at you. "You trade with my father and he's been friends with yours for a long time. You're far too young for this and I want to make sure you go home."

You blink. "You're bigger than lots of the Careers," you say doubtfully. "You might be able to win but I'm probably going to get squashed like a bug."

His smile falters a little. "Not if I can help it. We'll find you a bow and a nice big tree and you'll outlast everyone in the arena. My father always says he wishes he could shoot like you."

The words remind you painfully of Gale and you squeeze your eyes shut briefly.

"How many slips did you have this year?" he asks.

"15," you reply as you look up at him after a moment.

He looks sad. "I only had 15 this year and it was my final year."

"My friend Gale had 25 this year," you say and realise that those numbers _are_ sad because some people in their final year only have 7 slips and almost everyone in the Seam has at least that in their second year.

Almost everything else that is said from then on is meaningless to you because you realise just how sick the reality you've found yourself in actually is.

When Martyn leaves he smiles at you and ruffles your hair and you wait with bated breath for him to say "Goodnight, Catnip" but instead he just kisses your forehead lightly and leaves you sitting in the middle of your room with the carpet tangled in your fingers.

Surprisingly, you sleep.

_**ii.**_

Haymitch is startlingly sober at breakfast and you aren't sure why. Effie looks similarly baffled but Martyn just watches him closely.

"When we get to the Capitol you're going to be handed over to your prep team and stylists," Haymitch says as you try to find enough of an appetite to make the most of the breakfast spread. "Just go along with what they say. It'll be less painful if you don't argue. Their job is to make you appealing to the Capitol citizens and make _my_ job of getting you sponsors easier."

Martyn nods and you follow his lead. Haymitch offers you both a grim smile. "Eat up. A full stomach will help."

"He's right," Effie pipes up. Her smile is almost comical in comparison. "You have a big, big day ahead!"

You stay quiet over breakfast; partly because the conversation is about things you don't particularly have very much to say about and partly because you've discovered the wonder that is hot chocolate.

While you experiment with dipping everything you can reach into your mug, Martyn tells Haymitch you're good at archery and climbing. They both tell you to stay away from those stations during training and you agree. It is little more than a nod but with half a hot chocolate soaked pancake in your mouth it was the best you could manage. Haymitch makes Martyn agree to stay away from the strength stations and the Career pack.

Your first glimpse of the Capitol through the train windows almost makes you choke on a piece of bacon. Martyn smacks your back helpfully and you catch the offending piece as it flies from your mouth. Once the coughing fit subsides you both abandon the table in favour of goggling at the entirely strange and terrifyingly beautiful world that is drawing ever closer.

"We're about to pull into the train station," Haymitch says after a while, bringing you both out of your daze. "Smile and wave."

You're not sure if you're managing to smile but you do wave as Capitol citizens begin screaming and chanting and waving. "They look like aliens," you say quietly to Martyn.

He laughs and pulls you under his arm, closer to the window. "Keep waving and smile like Prim's out there," he says. "Aliens or not, you're going to need their sponsorship if you're going home."

You smile and wave and try to forget that the only way you can go home is if the boy next to you with a warm arm around your shoulders is dead.

_**iii.**_

If you thought that the Capitol citizens looked like aliens, you're having a close encounter when your prep team bustle their way into the room. Flavius, Octavia and Venia are their names and you can't quite stop _staring_.

"What an adorable little thing!" Octavia gushes and before you can even say a word she's already lifting your tunic over your head. Venia is kneeling beside you to tug your pants down. Breathing heavily, you remember Haymitch's advice to just go with whatever they say and do.

"Just wait until you meet Cinna," Flavius says excitedly as he brushes out your hair. Venia is pouring almost uncomfortably hot goo onto your legs while Octavia hovers beside her with a large strip of fabric. She smooths it over the goo firmly when Venia steps away.

"Cinna?" you ask. "Who-" The rest of your sentence is lost to a pained yelp as Octavia rips the fabric off your leg.

Venia tuts. "I can't believe how hairy they let you district children get," she says. "How do you ever feel pretty?"

Your eyes are watering but you're determined to salvage the situation. "My little sister is the prettiest girl in the district," you say quietly. "I don't really have much occasion to try and be pretty, I'm better at hunting."

All three look immediately contrite before Octavia smiles widely. "Cinna will make sure you steal the show tonight," she promises. "We'll give him a perfect little canvas and he will make you so beautiful you won't know yourself!"

When Cinna finally walks in, you are quite sure your entire body is still burning.

Your first impression is that he is blessedly normal looking. He is dressed all in black with a line of gold across each of his eyelids. It makes his eyes big and bright and especially green and you can't quite help but like him.

"Good afternoon, Katniss," he says and his voice reminds you of the hot chocolate that morning. His eyes glimmer briefly and he smiles. "What would _you_ do with a piece of coal?"

Two hours later, you're adjusting your perception of Cinna. The man is a little mad but you most definitely _do_ like him.

Your dress is a simple thing, the colour of coal, but every time you move it changes. He makes you twirl in front of him and you see the embers of a fire kindling around your feet and spreading up the sides of the dress. Blue, orange and gold swirl around your legs and hips and it is all so realistic that you can almost _feel_ the heat. Your face, chest and arms are dusted with muted gold and your face has shadows and angles you didn't know existed. You look like nothing you've ever seen before.

He shows you a small button by your hip that sends the colours spreading up your dress without having to move. You press it and he claps for you then hugs you. "Come with me and help set Panem alight, little huntress," he says quietly.

You aren't sure what he means but you follow him to the chariots.

_**iv.**_

Martyn is dressed all in black and he wears shadows and embers as well. He lifts you onto the chariot and climbs up beside you. Haymitch taps his leg as the other chariots begin to move and they have a conversation without words as Cinna and Portia talk quietly.

They move away from your chariot and Martyn nods, taking your hand as the horses begin to trot.

As the line of chariots dwindles and your turn comes closer you feel Martyn's hands on your shoulders. "Stand in front of me," he says from beside your ear. You obey him and feel his tense muscles against your back.

"It's going to be okay," you say as firmly as you can manage, touching his hand lightly.

"Keep your hand there," he says. "We need to look like a team."

That's how you exit the tunnel. The charcoal horses canter forward, you press the buttons and both your heads lift proudly as the embers begin to smoulder.

The crowd goes insane.

_**v.**_

Effie is practically vibrating with excitement when Haymitch ushers you through the entranceway. You're still shaking a little and having trouble forgetting the murderous look in the eyes of the District 2 pair.

"You two were _brilliant_!" she exclaims. Her wig is a little askew and you can tell when Martyn notices it because his snicker quickly turns into a cough.

"The perfect touch of rebellion," Haymitch says and takes a swig from his flask. "Good job, kids. Get to bed." His eyes are a little dark and he leaves the room. You wonder if he's thinking about his Games.

Effe bustles around some more before Martyn nudges you towards the hallway. He ruffles your hair in front of your door and offers a crooked smile.

"Sleep tight," he says. "Training tomorrow."

"We have a big, big day!" you add with a giggle.

He laughs before going into his own room and before you fall asleep you think that if the Games hadn't happened you still would have liked to be his friend.

_**vi.**_

The next morning at breakfast you're entirely distracted by smelling yourself because the shower had spilled a floral scented torrent of bubbles at you and you couldn't even wash it away. Effie assures you that you smell wonderful and it doesn't matter. Haymitch tells you to roll in your breakfast because smelling like toast would be better.

All of you except Effie spend breakfast snickering to yourselves.

"Present a united but approachable front. I want you to make alliances," Haymitch instructs in the elevator on the way down to the training level. "Not with any Careers. Not even the people who are just sympathetic to them. The boy from 4 and both from 11 are my recommendation at first. Trust your guts."

Martyn makes sure to keep his hand on your shoulder when the elevator doors open and you both step out. The warm and by now familiar pressure is reassuring as all the tributes already there pin you with stares.

The Careers look even more terrifying in person but the boy from District 4 winks instead of scowls and you aren't entirely sure why you blush in response.

The Head Trainer is a woman named Atala who you can't help but like a little. She's brisk and no-nonsense. When she finishes telling you about the rules and stations, Martyn leads you to the snare station.

The instructor is very pleased to have you there and as he teaches you and Martyn steadily more complicated snares you think of Gale and then try to steer your mind back to helping Martyn manage the more delicate knots needed. He sighs after about an hour and a half. "I think I'll leave you in charge of setting any snares," he says with a wink.

You smile a little. "My dad was never very good at them either," you offer. "Gale is amazing at them though."

"Hawthorne?" Martyn asks as you both nod at the instructor and move towards the edible plants section. You smile shyly at the instructor, a friendly looking young woman. She smiles in return and motions you both to a table.

"He looked like he was going to volunteer for me when my name was called," he says as you carefully begin examining a handful of roots. "I think he realised someone still needed to provide for your families though and thought better of it."

You know what he means because you'd also seen the small step towards the platform that Gale had taken before he quickly looked back to where both of your families were gathered. It hadn't registered through your haze of disbelief at the time, but you feel a wave of gladness suddenly that he hadn't volunteered.

"He's like my big brother," you say quietly as your fingers and eyes catalogue the aspects of the root in your hand automatically and tick them off against a safe list in your head. Colour. Texture. Shape. "His dad was mine's best friend."

Martyn nods and drops the subject. You're infinitely grateful when he asks "Which ones are poisonous?"

Another hour or so later you're reasonably sure Martyn won't accidentally kill himself eating nightlock berries and the lunch bell has sounded. The little girls from 7 and 8 sit at the end of your table and sneak glances at you and Martyn every few minutes and you're trying your hardest not to smile because all you can think of is Prim.

Martyn is telling you a story about finding what he thought was a fingernail in one of Greasy Sae's soups last winter, and you are laughing because Sae uses almost everything in her soups but neither you or Gale have ever brought her a _human_ to cook, when the boys from 5 and 6 and the two tributes from 11 seat themselves boldly in the vacant chairs around you.

You stare at them openly but Martyn does little more than give them appraising looks. The girl from 11 offers a smile from the seat beside you. "Acacia. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Martyn," your district partner offers in returns. He shakes all three of the boys' hands and smiles at Acacia. The one from 5's name is Dean, 6 is Carter and Acacia's district partner is Whit. The boys engage in conversation and you poke absently at your stew because you know Haymitch said to make allies but you can't quite wrap your head around the fact that 23 of the 24 of you will be dead in about a week and you're all supposed to be making 'friends'.

Dean has pale eyes and closely cropped hair and Carter has floppy blonde locks with warm eyes. They are average height and average build but they both look clever. Acacia is tall and willowy and has skin the colour of your hot chocolate. It is different to anyone in District 12. Whit has the same skin and same long body but you can see muscles in his arms and legs that mean he'd be dangerous in a race and hand to hand combat both. Your father told you to look for weak spots and you're really trying to forget that these are _people_.

They aren't helping your cause by sitting with you at lunch and talking to you about their families.

_**vii.**_

After lunch they don't leave. Martyn bends down beside you and his hand lands on your shoulder again. "Don't fret," he says quietly. "We're making alliances and _really_ freaking out the Careers."

Chancing a quick look at the other side of the room, you see that he's right. The District 2 girl looks positively mutinous and she seems the least affected of all. The boy from district 1 is a hulking mass of muscle and flashing eyes. You force yourself not to wince when he throws a spear at a dummy with such force that it crashes to the ground.

Martyn's arm goes the whole way around your shoulders and he leads you over to the knife throwing station which is, for the moment, deserted. "How good are you with these, exactly?" he asks with a wry look at Acacia.

_**viii**_.

When you return that evening, Haymitch and Effie are waiting in the dining area and look suspiciously fidgety. Cinna and Portia are sitting calmly at the table and Cinna beams when he catches sight of you, motioning you over into the seat next to him.

You fly to his side and he tucks a loose strand of hair back behind your ear. "How was training?"

Martyn catches your eye and nods. "We made allies," you announce.

Haymitch raises an eyebrow and Effie looks ridiculously pleased. "Boys from 5 and 6 and both from 11," Martyn says. "All approached us."

Haymitch nods in approval. "No contact from 4?"

"He winked at me," you say uncomfortably. "He didn't say anything or try and sit with us like the others though."

"Winked at you?" Cinna asks with a tiny smile.

Your cheeks are flushing again. "Everyone was looking at us when we walked in and the other Careers were scowling but he _winked_ at me instead."

"Was it a nasty wink?" Haymitch asked and you can hear the note of concern in his voice.

You shake your head because it made you blush but it wasn't a nasty wink at all.

Your mentor looks relieved. "Finnick mentioned the Career pack this year is especially tight and it might be difficult for his boy to make contact initially. The Career girls aren't even worth going near."

"The girl from 2 looked like she was going to froth at the mouth. I shot a wild dog that was frothing like that once. It was really sick and not even Sae would take it," you say quietly.

Everyone except Effie laughs delightedly. "That's the spirit, sweetheart," Haymitch says and his voice is warm in a way you've never heard it be before.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey all, here's chapter 3! Hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear what the people behind all those hits are thinking so far :)**_

_**i.**_

You have to again spend longer than expected in the shower the second morning of training. Your elbow presses a button you hadn't intended to and thick streams of tiny butter yellow bubbles rapidly begin to fill the shower. Afterwards, you can't quite figure out where they even came from and the thought is a little scary.

When you emerge with your hair still damp and some of your buttons undone, Haymitch almost drops his flask. Martyn tries to disguise a burst of laughter as a cough but you know better. Effie hurries over to straighten you up and makes a horrid mess of your hair before you escape her hands.

After you've taken your seat and are trying to braid your hair back again while staying well away from a contrite looking Effie, Martyn slides his mostly full mug of hot chocolate over to your place at the table in apology. You decide that you'll forgive him once breakfast is over.

Haymitch sends you off to training with a gruff "Good luck." Effie is much more animated and walks you all the way down the hall.

Carter, Dean, Acacia and Whit are all waiting for you and Martyn when you leave the elevator. They haven't done the edible plants test yet but Acacia and Whit say they are confident enough that they won't need to. Martyn asks you to walk Carter and Dean through it while he and the others go work with some weapons.

You agree and notice a distinct band forming of Careers and other tributes.

The Careers look mutinous as they stare across the training room at the six of you but most of the other tributes just look scared. Raze is glaring at his District partner and you deliberately look away. Your eyes settle upon the instructor and she smiles at you as you sit down between Dean and Carter.

_**ii.**_

Dean is asking you about whether eating spiders and other insects is a good idea if you can't tell if the plants are poisonous and you're staring at him in abject horror when the two little girls from 7 and 8 join your station.

"Are these safe to eat?" the smaller of the two asks with wide and earnest blue eyes. It is the blonde that reminds you painfully of Prim. You take the berries she is pointing at instead of breaking down in sudden tears like you want to do.

The other, dark haired and dark eyed with a solemn expression that sits ill at ease on her small face, hesitantly moves closer as you roll the berries between your fingers and manage a smile. "These ones? Yes, they're safe. Do you know how to tell?"

Both girls shake their heads in unison, now huddling together like a pair of baby birds.

Homesickness and dread mixing in your gut, you explain how to test a berry's texture and colour to both the small girls and Carter and Dean. You also make sure to tell Dean that berries are usually safer than insects, once you're sure they're not nightlock.

The dark haired girl's name is Astor. The blonde's is Winter and you know that Haymitch will probably tell you that they aren't useful allies to have. Not like Carter and Dean or Acacia and Whit who are all at least two years older, twice your size and clever to boot. You've decided that you will keep them safe regardless of what Haymitch says and you know Martyn will help you.

They remind you too much of Prim to do anything else.

_**iii.**_

Acacia is the first one to return to the edible plants station. "Whit and Martyn are trying to outdo each other and I think they're both nursing some bruised feelings," she says as she joins the now expanded group. She smiles warmly at Astor and Winter, sinking to the ground beside you comfortably. "Good morning girls, pleased to see you've joined us. I'm Acacia."

Winter smiles shyly in return and introduces herself. Astor looks as wary as she had when they'd joined you earlier but offers her name and a brief nod.

"Did everyone learn something today?" Acacia asks. Carter and Dean roll their eyes at her and you want to laugh, but Winter nods enthusiastically so you hold it in as she launches into a retelling of the last half hour.

You're chewing absently on some mint leaves that Winter had proudly presented you with, declaring them 'safe', when Martyn and Whit return in the middle of Acacia's demonstration of how to make a variation of some herbal tea you've never heard of. Martyn sits behind you and pokes you in the ribs before nodding towards the Gamemakers who observe all the tributes during training.

When you dare to look you realise that all their eyes are trained upon the edible plants station and it seems the formation of this alliance has not gone unnoticed.

_**iv.**_

The gaze of the boy from 4 is burning the side of your face during lunch. Astor seems to have made herself quite comfortable sitting between you and Martyn though so you try and keep most of your attention on the younger girl.

You aren't very good at general chatter and spend most of the meal looking helplessly at an amused Acacia while Martyn smirks at you. When he decides to save you, Martyn has more success at conversation and soon she is telling you both all about her friends back home in District 7. Winter is chatting happily to the other four as she has since they joined you.

By the time lunch ends you have learned that Astor's favourite food is the thick carrot soup they often serve and that her small frame belies an appetite the likes of which you've never seen. Considering that you've shared a breakfast, lunch and dinner table with Martyn for the last few days, that is an impressive feat.

You're concerned that all Winter did was talk and not eat but Acacia gives you a reassuring smile.

She takes Astor and Winter to the running and climbing station with Carter and Dean. Martyn and Whit motion for you to follow them.

A few of the Careers are at the weapons station but Martyn stops at the spears. "Give this a go, Katniss," he says, keeping a discreet eye on the group gathered at the close range weapons. "Just a light one though, mind yourself."

You tentatively pick a small spear that seems light in comparison to the rest. Watching has held you in good stead as you try to mimic the stance you saw the Career girls using the day before and Whit nods in approval.

Archery helps you know how to account for drop and the weight of the spear but you worry about the lack of control you have without a bow to steady yourself. Still, you aim and release with as much power as you can.

The spear lodges itself in the thigh of the closest dummy to the one you were aiming at and really, that is much better than you were expecting. When Martyn and Whit clap, you decide to let them think that you hit the one you were aiming at. When you see Martyn's eyes light up, you think that you'll let them believe it in the presence of the glaring Careers and confess when you're alone.

The trainer adjusts your stance a little and encourages Martyn and Whit to practice as well. Fifteen minutes later your target dummies tell a very clear story that ends with Whit leaving the station to join the others because he certainly doesn't need any practice with the spears.

The boy from 4 spends the last hour of training a few metres away, hurling knives at a target on the wall. Sometimes you catch his eyes and there is something in his gaze that makes you feel like you've met before.

_**v.**_

"His name is Raze," Martyn says in the elevator when even Acacia and Whit have left.

"Who?"

"The boy from 4," he says as you both step into the hallway. "He seems to have taken a liking to you."

You try very hard not to blush. Reminding yourself repeatedly 'you're in the Hunger Games' seems to work. "Didn't Haymitch say his mentor wants him to ally with us?"

Martyn nods and looks at you carefully. "Do you _want_him as an ally? We don't need him if he makes you uncomfortable."

"Don't turn away anyone who really wants to be our ally!" you insist and have a horrible feeling that your cheeks turn a little pink. "He doesn't make me uncomfortable."

Still a little suspicious, Martyn gives you a final look as you enter the dining area where Effie and Haymitch are waiting impatiently. They wave you off to shower when they see that you're both whole and you try desperately to forget the boy's hazel eyes.

_Raze's,_you amend to yourself.

_**vi.**_

At dinner, Haymitch asks how the day went. Martyn talks about the time he spent with your allies and you eat as much as you can. Effie reminds you to mind your manners and you slow down reluctantly.

To your surprise Haymitch doesn't say anything about Astor and Winter. He's much more concerned with how your time with Carter and Dean was. You tell him that they weren't very good at edible plants but you did what you could and made sure to caution them against eating spiders because most of them are poisonous.

Martyn and Haymitch laugh loudly at that. Effie looks flabbergasted.

"Spiders?"

_**vii.**_

After everyone has finished eating, Haymitch leads you and Martyn to the other room and sits you side by side before taking his own seat across from you.

"Tomorrow after lunch, the Gamemakers are going to begin to call you out for your individual testing," he says. "You'll have ten minutes each to impress them. A good score is like a double-edged sword because it means people are more likely to sponsor you but it also usually pisses the Careers right off and they gun for you from the beginning."

"The Careers are already gunning for us after the opening ceremonies," Martyn says, rubbing a hand over his face. "We don't want to make that worse but we're going to need sponsors."

"We'll do what we can on the sponsor end," Effie says quietly from the doorway. "Offers flooded in after the opening ceremony and so long as you do well in your interviews they should stay."

Martyn nods at her and you aren't sure what kind of look that is in his eyes aside from some kind of sad.

"If you perform well in the arena a low training score won't stop you from getting sponsors, or winning," Haymitch says. "Johanna Mason is proof of that."

"I'll just go in there and throw around some weights and spears and try and swing a sword without decapitating myself," Martyn offers. "Katniss can go in there and shoot her best and we'll deal with the scores when they're given."

"That sounds like the best plan we've come up with," Haymitch says tiredly. "If they know she can shoot then it's likely there'll be a bow in the arena. Try and get some sleep, you two. Tomorrow is when the Games _really _start."

Martyn kisses your forehead and murmurs a quiet goodnight before you go into your rooms.

Hours later when you finally fall asleep, you dream of eyes in the dark and screaming that you can never find the source of.

_**viii.**_

The entire training room buzzes with tension throughout the morning. Winter tells you tearfully that her district partner hardly even looks at her and she doesn't know what she should do for the Gamemakers. Astor follows Martyn around like a lost puppy. The Careers seem predictably cocky and full of bravado and you know that they'll all score between 8 and 10 without batting an eye.

Raze keeps catching your eye and offering almost secretive smiles that feel like encouragement.

You catch Martyn watching him warily more than once as you try and be less than hopeless with the throwing knives.

Acacia and Martyn sit with Astor and Winter at lunch and they talk quietly about what they should do to get as high a score as possible. Carter and Dean look grimly determined but offer you a smile whenever they catch your eyes. Whit sits beside you and asks you questions about home.

When the bell signals that lunch is over, you're in the middle of telling Whit about the time when Gale fell out of a tree and landed in a pile of bear droppings. You blink as the bell sounds and aren't entirely sure where that hour went.

You all rise and follow the rest of the tributes who filter out in pairs or single file.

Although Raze is called with District 4 and shoots an indecipherable look at all of you sitting together and trying to master your nerves, Carter's departure when District 5 is called is the first to receive an acknowledgment. Winter calls out a fervent "Good luck!" and he flashes her a smile. It seems to break some of the tension because she and Astor begin talking again.

When Dean leaves, Martyn and Whit nod at him and Winter calls out another good luck in unison with Astor. You impulsively hug both girls when they are called and desperately hope that they do well.

You begin to pace as the tributes from 9 are called.

"I think they're going to target one of us," you hear Martyn say quietly to Acacia.

"We certainly didn't escape their notice like the mentors hoped," she says equally as quietly. "What do you think they'll do? Aside from make the arena hell, naturally."

"Rig the scores," Martyn says without hesitation.

Their voices drop further and then you can't make what they're saying out.

The tributes from 10 leave and your pacing circle widens as Acacia and Martyn continue to whisper. When Whit is called they fall silent to nod and smile. You wish him good luck and then fall still and begin to ponder the implications and wonder _why_the Gamemakers would bother to rig your scores. Everyone who has seen you in training knows that you're bound to get a two or something else similarly pathetic.

Acacia is called and she taps your nose with a smile. "They're saving the best for last."

You sit close to Martyn while you wait. He pats your shoulder and smiles when he's called. "Get ready, little huntress," he says with a smile and disappears into the room.

When they call your name you take a deep breath and try to steady your racing heart.

When your hands slide across the bow, learning the feel of the weapon, your heart quietens to a dull thud.

When the first arrow hits dead in the centre of the target, you forget all about it.

_**ix.**_

Identical '10' icons flash beneath your pictures when they come up and they're even higher than the 9s that the best of the Careers received. Your stomach turns to lead.

Effie's sudden intake of break is the only noise and not even she dares to speak first. You simultaneously understand what has happened and wish you hadn't overheard Martyn and Acacia because ignorance is much nicer than the dread you can feel bubbling in your throat.

Haymitch and Effie don't even need to ask if anything you did warranted a score that high because they know as well as you do that it didn't.

"They've made their first move," Haymitch says bluntly and turns to Martyn with a hard look on his face. "Are you ready to make yours? You better be, because your prep time is up."

Martyn's eyes are closed and he breathes in deeply. His hand squeezes yours comfortingly and then he opens his eyes, looking straight at Haymitch.

"Let the Games begin."

_**x.**_

When Haymitch goes to bed and Effie leaves too, quite unsure of what to say for the first time since you've been here, Martyn helps you to your feet and leads you down the hallway towards your room.

He brushes a kiss across your forehead and smiles tiredly at you.

You fling your arms around his waist and hold for all you're worth, wishing really hard that this is a bad dream over and over and over again.

"It'll all be over soon, Katniss. I promise," he says softly and you don't know whether to cry or be relieved.


	4. Chapter 4

_A little early this time, but it will probably be two weeks before chapter 5 to allow me time to get all my final assignments handed in (read: done) and settled into holiday mode. Chapter 5 is the last one before the Arena. I've changed the summary to hopefully get some more readers and I'd love to hear your thoughts so far.__****_

i.

You and Martyn get four hours of interview preparation with Haymitch in the morning and it is obvious that none of you have slept well. Breakfast is a subdued affair and Haymitch leads you both into the sitting room.

He looks at you both intently for a few moments. "How are you going to make Panem see you?"

Martyn mutters something under his breath that you don't hear but Haymitch's laugh sounds like the bark of a wild dog. "Subtlety, Arnaud. Remember subtlety."

"We got tens," you say quietly. "Even if we didn't do what the score suggests they're probably going to be expecting us to be like Careers."

Haymitch's eyes narrow at you. "Very good point. Are you going to give them that?"

Martyn shakes his head. "We've spent too long cultivating the group of allies we have to present ourselves as heartless." He stops and bites at his lip a little.

You distract yourself by crossing your legs and bouncing the top one lightly.

"Do you think-"

"I want to talk about making friends with the others." You aren't even sure where the words come from but they spill from your lips and you mean them. "I want to talk about Dean asking me if he could eat spiders and about Astor and her carrot soup. About Acacia's herbal tea and Winter being so excited about learning which berries were safe."

Martyn's eyes are steady on your face. Haymitch's mouth is quirked up a little on one side. "Settle down, tiger," he says. "I love what you're saying but the interviews aren't the right time to upset the beehive. You save that for the arena, okay? You big sister those little girls until they can't take it and be friends with those boys and let that girl from 11 mother you until you feel like you're back home with your own family, do you understand? Just not right now. Save it for the arena."

You nod because you're quite sure of two things. One is that you've never heard Haymitch speak so much at once and two, that you aren't sure what Martyn and Haymitch are trying to do but you're starting to panic because you go into the arena _tomorrow_and the people you've spent the last few days with are going to start dying.

They only let one of you out and you don't know who you want that to be anymore.

_**ii**_.

Haymitch tells you to talk about home if Caesar Flickerman pushes the topic. About Prim and your parents. Otherwise you are to just appear as unassuming and harmless as you possibly can. You have to try and make Panem wonder _why_you got that 10. When Caesar comments, Martyn says you should act like you don't know and can't talk about it anyway.

That won't be much of a stretch because you still haven't pieced together what Haymitch and Martyn are trying to do anyway.

Martyn is playing the strong and silent angle and you don't even question it because he turns from your last link to 12, your home, to a predator waiting for the right moment right before your eyes.

You wonder, not for the first time, why he said he wants you to be the one to go home.

This time though, you wonder because he suddenly looks like the only person Reaped truly capable of winning.

_**iii**_.

Effie drills you on manners and etiquette and makes you smile on command.

By the end of your time with her you don't know whether your face or your feet hurt more, and Martyn has had to leave the room multiple times because his laughter was distracting you from attempting to walk in the death traps that Effie calls fashionable footwear.

You've never been so grateful to see someone as you are when Cinna appears in the doorway and Effie flounces off in a huff. Martyn is still chuckling when he leaves with Portia.

"Haymitch says we're going with something a little more demure than we originally had planned," he says as he tucks your hair back behind your ears and there is a silent question in his voice that you aren't sure you know the answer to.

For lack of a better option because you don't know what you can say aloud, you nod.

He leads you to your room where he waves Flavius and Octavia and Venia away and urges you onto the low seat in front of the mirror, kneeling behind you and beginning to twist your hair into the same intricate twists and braids your mother had used for the Reaping.

"I watched your Reaping," he says when he begins to pin it into place. "The cameras panned out when you started to walk forward and they found your family for a few seconds before swinging back to the stage."

"Prim's only ten," you say quietly. "My father was injured in a mining accident when I was her age and she was six. We had a very rough couple of months before he was healed enough to be sure he was going to be okay."

He spins your chair around and looks at you for a moment. "I imagine most of your mother's attention would have been on your father during that time."

You nod and then find yourself telling him something that you'd never put into words before. It tumbles out in a rush.

"I thought we were going to die. The food ran out and we had no more money and my parents were like zombies. Papa was barely ever awake and Mother just sat next to him. Prim was so hungry and I… I just didn't know what to do. One day though, a boy in my class gave me some bread after three days of nothing but pine needles and water. I found some dandelions in the meadow and the next day I went to the fence on my own because we didn't have a choice anymore. Gale was already there-"

Your voice breaks a little and Cinna's thumb catches the only tear that spills.

"You have more strength in your little finger than those Gamemakers could ever dream of," he says so quietly you barely hear him and you can see the tiny flecks of gold in his eyes. They match his eyeliner and you concentrate very hard on that to keep the rest of the tears at bay. "You have a young man in the next room who will use every means he has to make sure you go home to that family of yours who need you so much."

"I don't want any of them to die for me to go home," you say and the dam breaks.

_**iv.**_

When Cinna is done, you look like a sunbeam.

Your skin is iridescent and you can't even describe the colour of your dress but to say it reminds you of sunlight through the trees and cloudless skies.

He hovers by your shoulder and you turn your head to the side and kiss his cheek. "You're wonderful."

He laughs delightedly. "Oh but my dear, _you_are the wonder. Let's go and dazzle Panem some more, shall we?"

You take his hand and prepare to face the world.

_**v.**_

If you are a sunbeam, Martyn is a storm.

_**vi.**_

The Capitolites erupt with excitement as you come into view. Martyn's hands are steady on your bare shoulders again and he doesn't wave. You smile and wave shyly and the screams are deafening.

As you take your seats at the end of the line of chairs, Martyn whispers "Pay attention to the Career interviews."

The District 1 girl takes the stage in heels higher than any you've seen Effie wear and a dress leaving nothing to the imagination. Her name is Victoria and her eyes don't match the giggling persona she puts on for her three minutes with Caesar.

When the stone cold blue meets yours as she retakes her seat, you wish that Martyn were sitting closer because you feel a chill down your spine.

Her district partner, Hunter, is a bundle of muscle and restrained energy. You get the impression he isn't too sharp but he is more than dangerous enough without being clever.

The District 2 pair terrify you. They are both 18 and although the girl, Kindle, is slight compared to the girls from 1 and 4 and her district partner, Chase, positively _dwarfs_her, they look dangerous and intelligent. Your thudding heart clenches and you're terrified at that combination.

They also make a point to look at you and Martyn before they take their seats again.

You fight to control your trembling through District 3s interviews and almost see 'bloodbath' flash above their heads. Both are small and scared looking and the crowd seems disappointed. They perk up again when District 4 takes the stage. The girl, Coral, is seventeen. She flashes sultry smiles and looks at Caesar through lowered lashes while he laughs about how none of the boys will stand a chance against that charm. The audience love it.

When Raze takes the chair, you straighten a little. His stylist has dressed him in a crisp linen shirt with suit pants and a vest. The sea green tie makes his eyes especially bright. They remind you of Cinna and you only remember to listen when the crowd laughs especially loudly.

"So, a good looking boy like you would surely have a girl back home?" Caesar is asking. Raze laughs and it's the first time you've heard the sound. The fluttering in your stomach is most definitely from nerves, you decide.

"No special girl, Caesar," he says and his voice most certainly does not make the fluttering worse. You can practically _feel_Martyn snickering but forget all about it as his eyes swing in your direction. They stop briefly before flicking along the line of tributes and back to Caesar. He smirks. "My time at the training centre certainly hasn't been boring, however."

"Breaking hearts all over Panem, you will be!" Caesar says delightedly. "Best of luck to you, Raze!"

He winks at the audience and returns to his seat beside Coral.

You're hardly able to concentrate as Carter, Dean and their district partners have their three minutes each but force yourself to focus when Winter takes the stage.

Her silver dress makes you think of the stories your mother would tell you and Prim at bedtime when you were small. She said they'd been passed down in her family from when Panem had been North America. They featured princesses and ballerinas and fearsome monsters and walls of thorns beaten by magic swords.

She looks angelic.

Caesar asks her about her score – she'd scored a 7 which was unusually high for someone so young and not from a Career District. She looks so proud of herself and you hear Martyn's sharp intake of breath beside you. You pat his knee once before returning your hand to your lap and whisper "She'll be fine."

"I'm very good at running and climbing things, and I spent lots of time practicing with Katniss and Acacia at the edible plants section!"

It is almost as though your ears simply shut off. Caesar looks a little taken aback but recovers quickly and you assume they continue to speak but all you can hear is a muted buzzing. A sharp poke between your shoulders from Martyn snaps everything back into awareness.

"But-"

"Don't," Martyn hisses quietly.

You stop. Winter skips back to her seat and you try to steady your racing heart. _Haymitch said not to upset the beehive._

Astor's interview is unremarkable. She looks a little shaken as well, especially when Caesar asks about her training score and it tugs at your heartstrings. How are you all supposed to play a game you don't know the rules _or_the purpose of? She looks as beautiful as Winter though and you hope desperately that she gets some sponsors out of this.

When it is her turn to take a seat next to Caesar, Acacia looks like an earth-bound goddess. She's beautiful and charming and Caesar doesn't even get a chance to ask about her score. She giggles and dances around the subject of whether there is a young man at home waiting for her.

You won't torment Martyn by telling him you notice the deep breath and crack of knuckles as he flexes his hands. You're beginning to understand.

When Whit sits down he turns on a charm that you didn't know he possessed. The quiet, unassuming Whit from the training centre is replaced with a warm and effusive Whit who has Caesar in fits of laughter with stories of wardrobe malfunctions and dinner table mishaps and who masterfully both never admits why he received a 9 and manages to seem as though it was no surprise either.

Then it is your turn. Cinna's instructions run through your mind as you rise and begin to walk towards Caesar.

_Head straight, chin up. Hands relaxed, my dear, and __**smile**_. _I'll be in the audience._

You do as he says.

_**vii.**_

Caesar beams invitingly. "Katniss! You look stunning, but I have to say that your opening ceremonies outfit was something else entirely – I've never seen anything like it! How did it feel out there on the chariots?"

You swallow and concentrate on maintaining your smile. "My stylist is a mad genius," you say with a giggle. "He worked miracles with a plain little girl from 12."

Caesar chuckles as the crowd shouts at you that you aren't plain. Some shout your name.

"Now, before we get too comfortable, do tell me. With a possible score of 12, how did a little sprite like you manage a _10_? I think all of Panem would like to know."

You duck your head to compose yourself. "I don't know, Caesar," you say when you lift it again and you don't necessarily need to fake the baffled look that slides onto your face. "They must have seen something in me that even I don't know about."

The crowd cheers wildly. Caesar waves his hands to settle them down and turns back to you. "I'm sure there is a lot about you that we don't know yet, Katniss, but the clock is ticking! Tell me, what has it been like coming to the Capitol from an outlying district like 12? Are you enjoying it?"

"Everything is so beautiful!" you say and it isn't necessarily a lie. "The food is amazing. I think I could drink hot chocolate forever and not get tired of it! I've even started dipping things in it, I think I might be addicted."

That receives wild laughter and Caesar wipes his eyes theatrically. "Quickly now, before it's over, we saw a little girl during the Reapings and I bet my buttons that was your little sister! Tell me about her."

"Prim's 10," you say and your eyes find Cinna's in the crowd just like he told you. "She's the most wonderful little girl in the world and I miss her terribly."

The audience is hushed and quiet.

"Did you see her before you came here?" Caesar's voice is solemn. "What did she say to you?"

"She asked me to come home," you say quietly and it echoes.

Caesar's hand is cool and smooth atop yours. "And what did you say?"

"I told her I would do my best."

The timer buzzes and Caesar stands up, raising your hand in his to tumultuous cheering. "And I'm sure you will do your best! Ladies and gentlemen, Katniss Everdeen!"

You curtsey with him, like Effie taught you, and don't think as you return to your seat. Martyn's hand brushes against yours quickly as he heads towards Caesar. The warmth it leaves behind is welcome.

Caesar begins by asking Martyn about his training score. A smirk slips onto your district partner's lips as he plays coy. The crowd go berserk. Some are crying his name and others are laughing uproariously and it all mingles together with unintelligible shouting.

You can't understand how _enthusiastic_they are about these 24 kids that they're sending into an arena to die on national television.

A question cuts through your haze with frightening clarity. "And what about that lovely district partner of yours? Isn't she the most darling little thing?"

It is obvious to you that Martyn wasn't expecting that question because his mouth is ever so slightly open and he blinks twice in quick succession. "She's a great girl," he finally responds and manages to remain composed. "I sort of knew her back home, everyone in our area saw her as a bit of a kid sister. It's been great to actually get a chance to spend one on one time together, however short that time is."

The crowd makes sympathetic noises and Caesar nods sadly. You think you hear a couple of distressed sounding cries but you're too busy staring blanking at Martyn because _what the hell happened to not disturbing the beehive_?

His returning glance is not entirely reassuring because there is nothing calm about the blaze that seems to have ignited there.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Short one before the arena. I got a phone call on Thursday morning informing me that we're moving house, so there'll be another at least 2 week gap before I update while we get packed, moved and settled. As always, I hope you enjoy.**_

_**i.**_

Cinna and Portia are already there when you and Martyn return with Haymitch and Effie. Effie's congratulations and excitement lasted the whole car and elevator ride. Haymitch is silent.

You fly into Cinna's waiting arms and Martyn slumps heavily into the closest seat, his face in his hands. Haymitch snatches up the closest bottle of alcohol and takes a deep swallow.

"I think we should take them up to the roof for some fresh air. The wind will be good for their nerves," Cinna says after a few moments.

Haymitch nods. "We'll take it from here," he says to Effie. "Get some rest, Ms Trinket."

Effie touches your back briefly. "You did very well tonight, Katniss. I'm proud to have been involved."

She stops beside Martyn on her way out and lays a hand on his shoulder. Her pink nails are vivid against the dark of his suit. "Martyn?"

He looks up at her and his eyes are still blazing. "Yes, Effie?"

"You're very brave and I just wanted to tell you before tomorrow. "

There's a moment where no one quite knows what to say. The door closes softly behind Effie as she leaves. Martyn rises and Cinna begins to urge you towards the elevator. When you reach it, Portia opens a door and your small group ascends the staircase slowly.

The wind is blowing and there are chimes from a small garden a little way away. The view would take your breath away if you had any left in your lungs. "Keep your voices low, but you can speak freely," Cinna says.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I didn't think Caesar would ask me that," Martyn says and his voice sounds hollow. "I didn't plan for it because I didn't think they would try and play it that way when even we'd decided to leave it alone. When he asked I looked at you and I had to say _something_."

"I'm not mad," you say and you move to stand beside him. "I'm just scared for you. I don't know what you're trying to do but I know they rigged our scores and that they don't like how big our alliance has gotten."

"We don't think the Reapings this year were purely chance," Haymitch says, leaning against the wall. "Too many kids with connections to people who don't like the Capitol were picked. In 12 the only kids of more fervent Rebel supporters than you two would have been the Hawthorne boy and probably Madge Undersee. The pair from 11 both have family who were killed in the silo accidents just like both your fathers shouldn't have come out from the mines after that accident. The same goes for a lot of the other tributes. Some have banded with you, others just want out of here."

Martyn pulls you under his arm and the familiar pressure is comforting as you try to process Haymitch's words.

"The Capitol actually picked us?"

Cinna nods and Haymitch chuckles darkly. "Either that or they were _very_lucky."

"My father told me about why the mining accident happened before the Reaping," Martyn says. "The miners have always been the most discontented in 12."

"I understand that," you say and it is mostly true. "Why did they rig our scores and why don't they like our alliance though?"

"Because you're undermining everything their Hunger Games stands for," Portia supplies and you turn to her. "They stand to divide and conquer. The Career alliances usually end in them turning on each other but anyone just needs to look at the group of you and know that won't happen. If kids go in there and aren't mad with the urge to survive and become _friends_then what message will that send to the rest of Panem?"

"Not the one they want sent, to say the least." Cinna's voice is steady.

"So we're going to show them everything they don't want to see," Martyn finishes.

Your head is reeling and you lean heavily into him. His hand closes around yours.

"You just need to let things follow their natural course," Haymitch says. "Just do as I said before the interviews and it will work out. Now that you know why, leave the how and the decisions to the others who understand and are willing to do what has to be done. You just concentrate on staying alive."

Your mind blanks at those words and you refuse to consider any further because you know what that means. It isn't something you can comprehend at the moment.

"I'll take her down to her room," Martyn says after a few moments. "I'll come back soon."

You offer no protest. Portia stops you before you reach the staircase and hugs you. She holds you close and whispers "You're so very brave, Katniss. We'll see you soon, okay?" and you can't even muster a reply. All you manage to do is return the hug.

Martyn holds your hand the whole way down the stairs and through the dining and living rooms and into yours. He hands you a soft nightgown and tells you to shower and change. You do so, your head still trying to make sense of everything that has happened thus far.

Gold and silver slide off your skin as the hot water pounds against your back, matching your heartbeat. When you emerge, he is sitting in what has become your favourite place on the floor.

"I wish we could have been friends without this," you say quietly.

He looks up at you and smiles as he rises. "So do I, Katniss. This is our duty though." His smile turns into a frown and you remember that the Capitol is probably watching. You wrap your arms around his waist for lack of anything else to say.

He holds you for a really long time and your mind works overtime. It feels like Gale and your father and Cinna are hugging you all at once.

He pulls back and kisses your forehead. "It'll be fine. I'll see you in the arena tomorrow, okay? Stay strong and remember to run. Get Winter and Astor if it's safe, and whatever you can grab without risking getting hurt. Run and we'll find you."

You nod and open your mouth to say something but it never comes. "Good luck," you finally manage.

He smiles and leaves you, turning the light off as he closes the door.

_**ii.**_

Cinna enters your room in the morning. You aren't sure whether you slept or not, but you sit up when he comes through the door. He takes your hand and helps you get dressed and the rest of the morning is a blur.

You only really snap back to attention when you're in a hovercraft and someone injects something into your arm. A tracker so they can't lose you in the arena, the woman explains tonelessly.

Someone across from you makes a scoffing noise which they turn quickly into a cough.

You rub at your arm absently for the rest of the ride, your mind curiously blank, and the next thing you know there are Peacekeepers either side of you and then you see Cinna again.

He wraps you in a warm embrace and leads you to a table where there are platters of food and you realise you'll need to fill up now because your next meal might not be for a very long time. Or never happen at all.

Cinna slides a mug towards you and you recognise the scent and immediately reach for it.

"Thank you."

He winks and wraps his own hands around another mug. "It's my favourite too."

A few minutes later, you're both dipping torn fragments of bread into your mugs and Cinna is wondering how he's never thought about doing it before.

You're comfortably satiated with your hands still around your mug when Cinna looks at the clock and then to you.

Nodding and standing, you follow him across the room where you allow him to braid your hair back.

He helps you into a supple jumpsuit with a fur-lined hood. Warmth swallows you whole and you say so to Cinna.

"We don't get to make your arena clothes. I think it's going to be a cold arena this year," he says quietly, fiddling with your collar. When he lets it fall back against your skin, you look down to see your mockingjay pin gleaming against the grey of the suit.

He puts his finger to his lips and smiles at you as you grasp for his other hand.

A buzzing sound breaks the silence but Cinna ignores it and you remain standing there. When another one sounds though, he smiles sadly.

"30 seconds," he says, and pulls you close. He puts a hand either side of your face and leans down so your foreheads are touching. "We aren't allowed to bet, little huntress, but if I could I would bet on you."

You squeeze his wrists and try very hard not to cry.

"Remember what Haymitch and Martyn said," he says quietly. "Run and they'll catch up with you when they can."

Another buzzer goes.

"I'll see you soon, Katniss." Cinna's voice is low. "I promise."

He kisses your forehead and nods you towards the metal disc on the ground.

_**iii**_.

You step onto the plate and are suddenly surrounded by a clear cylinder. Pressing your hands flat against it, you see Cinna nod at you.

The plate begins to rise beneath you and your fingers grasp for your mockingjay pin.


	6. Chapter 6

_**And we've hit the arena! I hope this chapter does the event justice. Enjoy.**_

i.

The gust of freezing cold wind hits you first.

You try to take a quick stock of the immediate surroundings.

_59._

Martyn is as far as he could possibly be away, on the other side of the glistening Cornucopia. He looks tall and menacing between the tiny tributes from 3 who probably couldn't stand against a strong wind.

_58._

Astor is only two tributes to your left side and her frantic eyes meet yours. You smile as reassuringly as you can and try to steady your pounding heart.

_57._

Winter is halfway between you and Martyn, sandwiched between Raze and what you think is the boy from 10 but you can't see his back to be sure. His face is unremarkable apart from the terror written in his eyes and the quiver of his mouth.

_56_.

Acacia is five tributes to your right and her eyes are focused on the Cornucopia.

_55._

Whit is on the plate between the girls from 1 and 2 and your heart lurches when you see the expressions on their faces.

_54._

Carter and Dean are somewhere to your left and you see them glancing at each other and then scanning to find the rest of your allies. The boy from 2 is too close to them for comfort and the gleam in his eye frightens you.

_53._

There is a pack nearby, bursting at the seams. You're almost positive you can get there and then head towards cover. Your body is already thrumming with adrenaline and it is a battle to stay still.

_52._

The biggest mound of supplies is right in the mouth of the Cornucopia. Enough to keep your entire district for a week, you wager, but you know that towards there is Career territory and you're not _stupid_.

_51_.

There is a bow perched atop a small pile a few metres from the main supplies.

You know that's _your_ bow but you know just as well that you can't risk it.

_48._

You spend as long as you dare looking around for which direction offers the best shelter.

The arena is some kind of tundra and the wind is bitterly cold. The Cornucopia dominates the field you're all currently in, and there are open plains to the south. The north and east look crowded in comparison, and the west rises in a slope that disappears in the glaring sunlight.

_34._

Eventually you decide on east because it looks rocky and hilly as well as sporting vegetation and trees, relatively sparse in comparison to the north though it might be. East seems to offer the best chance of putting ground between your group and the Careers while they are distracted by the bloodbath.

_33._

Catching Astor's eyes, you flick your own in that direction and mouth 'run'.

_32._

She nods fervently.

_31._

Winter looks utterly terrified and you keep your eyes patiently on her until she looks in your direction. It takes longer than you'd hoped.

_20._

You flick your eyes towards the east and she nods. She can run, you know that she's easily as fast as you if not faster, and you try to swallow the sick dread in your stomach. The bloodbath is always the worst part and you hope so very much that the two little girls from 7 and 8 aren't caught up in it.

Your eyes are still hovering on Winter when a motion from Raze catches them.

He glances at Winter and then at you and offers a reassuring smile.

You don't know what he means by it but you aren't immediately seized by panic. His demeanour isn't threatening.

'East' you mouth and he nods before turning his eyes back to the Cornucopia.

_10._

Your heart begins to pound and your muscles tense involuntarily. Swallowing thickly, you can feel your knees trembling and hope that they hold up when you go to run.

_9._

Acacia finally looks towards you. You tilt your head to the east and she nods.

A smile you can only describe as feral spreads over her face and you look away quickly.

She reminds you of a fierce mother bear and even that reminds you of the Careers.

_6._

The Careers themselves are vibrating with such intense anticipation that you don't know how they haven't set off the explosives in their plates yet.

_5._

You close your eyes and finger your mockingjay pin briefly.

_4._

3.

2.

Your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes fly open.__

1.

_**ii.**_

Every single tribute bursts into movement. Astor and Winter bolt straight towards the east and you sprint forward, snatching up the closest backpack, a long coil of rope and a sturdy knife.

Martyn's long legs are rapidly eating up ground as he tries to reach you. Acacia is almost to him, a pack slung carelessly over her back and a strange looking bag in her arms when you see Victoria from 1 lining up a throwing star from beside the Cornucopia.

Skidding to a halt, you let out a piercing whistle and it startles the Career enough that the star barely misses. It digs into the ground between you and Martyn.

Acacia scoops it up as she and Martyn run the last hundred metres to you. Carter is in an unevenly matched scrap with the boy from 8 over a knife. He ends it quickly with a blow to the other boy's temple, leaving him dazed on the ground as he grabs the two closest packs and breaks into a sprint towards cover.

Your eyes are glued to Kindle. The girl from 2 almost _dances_ towards the boy from 3 and her eyes are fever-bright with glee as the blade in her finger glints before it slices through the skin of his cheek. He cries out and you see his district partner hesitate in her flight from the launching field.

You can't look away when Hunter from 1 grins with predatory anticipation written all over his face.

She shouldn't have hesitated.

You don't see Dean or Whit or Raze but then Martyn and Acacia have reached you and you're running without even registering that you've had to tear your eyes from the bloodbath. You can see Winter and Astor's backs ahead and there are screams from behind you and the Hunger Games have really begun.

_**iii.**_

Carter's path crosses yours relatively soon and when he joins your small group and the sounds of the bloodbath are well out of earshot, everyone slows to a jog.

He hasn't seen hide nor hair of Dean but he saw Whit heading further north than the path you'd all taken. Acacia mimics some bird calls and smiles encouragingly at Winter and Astor, who look worried. "He'll join us soon."

"We'll stop soon and give him and Dean a chance to catch up," Martyn says. "It looks like we managed to grab quite a bit. Our trusty wilderness experts can help us find a place near a water source, yes?"

"We want to find a running stream," you say. "The water will be cleanest and we don't know if we have the things to purify it. You'll hear it before you see it."

"Willow and alder grow near streams as well," Acacia says. "Will be good for fuel, they burn hot and fast and don't smoke very much."

"I wish I'd gotten that bow." Your voice is wistful.

Martyn's hand lands on your shoulder and squeezes quickly. "I know, but it was too dangerous. We'll make do, okay?"

You nod.

After another mile, you all halt for a rest and to look at what everyone managed to grab from the launching field.

You place the pack, knife and rope in the middle. Carter contributes two packs, Acacia a pack and bag. Martyn managed to snag a pack on his way towards you and Astor puts several knives beside yours. They are each about the size of your forefinger.

"They were right in front of me, I would have run right over them to get to you all," she says with a shrug when you look at her curiously.

There is a sleeping bag in each pack, as well as a water bottle and small bottle of iodine. There are several hooks and a length of some kind of strong, clear string in one of Carter's. Acacia's and Martyn's contain strips of dried meat, packages of nuts and dried fruit and a few basic medical supplies. Carter's second pack contains a serrated knife, a small pot and another coil of rope. Acacia's bag contains a couple of thick blankets and more preserved food. Yours has a strange pair of goggles in it and a few packages of a strange dry powdery substance.

"That's used to thicken up soups and broths," Winter explains when you admit you have no idea what it is. "It's almost like that rice stuff they have in the Capitol. You put a little bit in a pot of soup or broth and it gets thicker and you don't need to eat as much because it's so filling."

Between you all, the five packs are repacked with the sleeping bags, a water bottle, the iodine and an even spread of the food and medical supplies. You keep the knife you grabbed and the coils of rope, and Carter keeps the hooks and string. Martyn puts the pot in his pack and he and Acacia each take one of the small knives, as do Astor and Winter.

_**iv.**_

It's nearing nightfall when Carter stumbles upon the entrance to a cave.

Acacia and Martyn explore it quickly before declaring it safe. Martyn instructs them to begin to set up camp and ventures out with you to set some snares and search for a water source in the last bit of dying light.

He stands at the ready as you set a pair of twitch snares not very far from the cave.

When they're set and disguised, he pats your shoulder distractedly. You're feeling remarkably calm considering you're in an arena and somewhere there are a group of Careers that want nothing more than to see you dead. You feel the need to spread the cheer and nudge his side with your shoulder, offering a grin.

"We made it through the bloodbath," you say. "I bet everyone at home is shocked speechless."

He grins in response. "Not bad for a couple kids from the Seam, eh?"

"Good job, Haymitch!" You giggle a little as you imagine him rolling his eyes at you from wherever the mentors are during the Games.

Half an hour later, it is getting distinctly dark and cold even within the jumpsuits. You're afraid to put your hood up in case it affects your hearing. You haven't forgotten that there is a pack of rabid Careers who usually hunt on the first night.

How they could still be thirsty for blood after the Cornucopia baffles you and you shake your head to clear the thoughts. All you've found, aside from the willow and alder that Acacia asked for, is a shallow pond. It looks clean but you aren't going to risk poisoning so you fill the water bottles you have, treat it with iodine and begin heading back towards the cave.

Martyn's sense of direction could use some work, so you play basic wilderness games with him as you regain your bearings and find your tracks. By the time you return to the cave, it is almost full dark and you're too scared to admit that a lot of luck was involved in you stumbling upon it again.

Whit is there when you return and you can't help the rush of relief when you see him safe. He smiles widely as you and Martyn drop the bunches of alder and willow and Martyn claps him on the shoulder warmly.

Martyn talks quietly with Whit as you share the water around. Winter and Astor share a water bottle happily and Acacia makes sure to tell everyone to be sparing with it because you won't be able to get more until morning.

You help her start a small fire off to the side of the entrance.

"Today was pretty intense," she says softly. "Are you okay?"

Nodding, you watch her fingers weave a neat net with the willow and remain silent.

"Are you worried that Dean hasn't found us?"

You nod again. "And Raze from 4. Haymitch said he wanted to join us but we didn't wait. He knows we're in the east though."

She nudges your shoulder with a smirk. "Don't think I haven't seen the way he looked at you during training."

Flushing, you duck your head and Acacia laughs. "He's smart, honey. He'll find us when he can and I bet he'll be happiest of all to see you." She leans close. "Martyn said that he'll have to figure out a way to get away from the Careers first. The mentors have it all sorted."

_**v.**_

Six cannons fire and you feel like a monster when you say to Acacia that such a low number is unusual for a bloodbath and you would have expected more. She agrees with you and squeezes your hand warmly when you close your eyes and hope that none of those six were Dean and Raze.

You almost cry with relief when none of the faces in the sky are theirs.

Both from 3 are dead, as is Dean's district partner. So is Astor's. The girl from 9 and boy from 10 didn't make it either.

18 of you are left.

_**vi.**_

The small fire is crackling happily when Martyn calls Astor, Carter and Winter over to have something to eat. After a few moments the two girls are huddled together again in their hoods and the sleeping bag they'll be sharing with small handfuls of food. Carter is sprawled out beside the fire with a careful eye on the entrance.

Martyn gives Acacia and Whit their shares before offering you yours. You sit beside him and accept the food. You only eat one of the strips of dried meat and half a dried pear before you give the rest to Astor and Winter.

"They look hungry," is all you say to Martyn when he raises an eyebrow at you. You squirm a little when he doesn't drop it and he pulls you under his arm, tugging on your braid.

"I wasn't feeling too hungry either," he says quietly.

_**vii**_.

A cannon breaks the silence and there is immediate chaos as Acacia and Martyn leap up near the mouth of the cave.

You're on your feet before you realise that the noise _was_ a cannon, your knife ready between your fingers. Astor and Winter are huddled behind a crouched Whit and Carter is already at the mouth of the cave with Acacia and Martyn.

Heart pounding wildly, you run to Martyn and run your eyes across the darkness outside.

There doesn't appear to be anything nearby and you slowly calm as Martyn and Acacia share a look you can't quite decipher.

"The Careers usually hunt on the first night," Whit says when you all settle back into the sleeping bags. The flickering firelight illuminates his face and he offers you a kind smile. "Someone probably made the mistake of lighting a fire in the open."

You _know_ that Raze is probably with the Careers, but you're still terrified. Not all of that terror is because you're worried that Dean may have been that desperate.


	7. Chapter 7

_**And here we go (: To whoever's reading, I'm sorry for the delay! Life got a little nutty. Hopefully you love Raze as much as Stephi and I, the fangirling when she reads anything about him is hilarious. I hope everyone's still enjoying the story!**_

_Interlude – Raze_

_**i.**_

By the second night you're utterly exhausted because every time you close your eyes you hear the screams of the girl from 10 as Kindle and Hunter vent their frustrations on her. She's the first kill they got to savour and you thought the girl from 2 was the most sadistic, bloodthirsty thing you've ever encountered until you watch the way the girl from 1 watches her district partner hungrily as he 'works'.

They knew as well as any of you did that none of the others they hadn't already killed would be stupid enough to light a fire in the open and let themselves get drowsy. They knew that the girl from 11 and boy from 12 had taken off with their group into the vastness of the arena and that finding them was not going to be pleasant _or_easy. They'd watched the boy from 11 throw spears and you were almost envious of the girl's talent with knives. The boy from 6 and the pair from 12 were no slouches either considering their lack of training.

You think the other Careers were pretty pissed about that, really, and the thought makes you snicker.

The little girl from 7 had bolted quicker than you expected at the launching field and you were relieved because it meant you didn't even have to pretend to fumble and let her go. All you had to do was move onto the next target and be slower than the rest of the bloodthirsty beasts they called Careers.

This wasn't hard because to your surprise, the group was a lot larger than just the tributes from 1, 2 and 4.

Another puzzling feature of an already stranger than usual Games.

The girl from 6, Nat, and Rian from 7 had inexplicably been accepted and allowed to survive. This obviously happened when you weren't paying attention. The boy from 9, Dawson, was also alive and ogling Victoria and Kindle openly. How he didn't get gutted by either Hunter or Chase was beyond you. He'd annoyed you during training and seeing him smirking at you did nothing positive for your nerves. Weedy little shit.

You were also disappointed that Coral hadn't managed to off herself in the chaos of the bloodbath. She was the only one of them that didn't believe your heart was truly in this thing.

Her suspicion was one of the main reasons you have to get out _tonight_.

_**ii.**_

You get put on second watch with Nat from 6. In a stroke of luck, she starts to doze off about an hour in. The others all look well and truly asleep and blissfully remain so as you grab what you can from the supply pile, tying two backpacks together atop a third and wriggling your arms in. It leaves you a little tight on movement, but you don't know how long it will take you to find them or whether they have enough supplies.

There is only a brief moment of hesitation before you take the bow and quiver of arrows – Finnick had told you that they were for the girl from 12. Katniss.

He said that her mentor told him that from all accounts she was a terror with the weapon and it was obviously going to play a part in whatever they had planned. You saw her eyeing it at the launching field, but she'd stayed well clear of the Cornucopia.

You aren't going to pretend to be anything but glad she'd avoided the bloodbath, or that she'd caught your eye and told you they were headed east. You've been fascinated since the Reaping and that has not abated at all, even now _in _the Arena.

The opening ceremonies and training had only built on it as Finnick gave you bits and pieces of a plan that spanned all of Panem. As training had progressed you'd managed to piece together this plan and realised that she was at the centre. You weren't sure entirely why they'd chosen her but if you were going to die then it was going to be for a cause.

It takes you a few seconds to gain your bearings as you strap a belt with a dozen throwing knives around your waist and then you're jogging east.

_**iii.**_

It's well and truly dark and utterly freezing. Your hands are numb and your hood is drawn as tight around your head as possible. You're forever having to stop and readjust the packs on your back and stop the quiver of arrows from slipping off your shoulder. The wind is making it almost impossible to hear so it really is a good thing that you almost fell over the curled up form of another tribute.

You're positive you're going to die when you trip, at least until whoever you tripped over moans helplessly. A knife is in each of your hands before you even get up, but when you bend down tentatively, you recognise the pitiful sight of what is evidently the boy from 5 huddled on the ground. Your heart begins to slow.

You nudge him with the toe of your boot and he struggles to his feet.

"Five?" You end up practically face to face, the only way to be heard.

He blinks wearily at you. "If you're going to kill me, please do it quickly," he says and you can hear dehydration in the rasp of his voice.

You press your water bottle into his hand. "Not too much. Do you know where your allies are?"

He drinks slowly and it is a couple of minutes before he responds. "They headed this way but I got myself hopelessly lost and I haven't found water or them yet."

Taking the water bottle back, you drag his arm over your packs and the pair of you start walking slowly, heading further east.

_**iv.**_

It has to be some time in the early morning because the wind has eased and it isn't quite so completely dark when a sharp _crack_ brings you skidding to a halt. Dean slams into your back and you catch yourself on a tree, shooting him a sharp look in the dim light.

You hear more sounds of movement and they sound too close for you to even be willing to consider fleeing and offering your back as a target. Handing Dean a knife, you put your back to a deformed, scrubby looking bush that stands mid-chest on you and crouch slightly.

Dean mimics your position but terror is written clear on his face. The sounds come closer and closer and your hands are closed so tightly around the handles of your knives that you're almost worried about them breaking the skin.

The spear flies through the air in the corner of your vision and you jerk back instinctively, one of your hands reaching back for the bow. You grasp empty air as you belatedly realise you'd wrapped it in a sleeping bag in one of the packs earlier in the night. The spear catches Dean in the shoulder and you watch in horror as Coral and Nat appear barely twenty metres away.

Coral looks crestfallen when she sees that the spear missed, and her eyes narrow when they meet yours. "Traitor!" she spits.

_Of course she followed._

Dean looks flabbergasted, staring at the spear still quivering slightly in his shoulder.

He lifts his eyes and sees Coral and Nat as you fumble at your belt. The knife flies from his hand and narrowly misses Nat's face.

Yours doesn't miss a split second later though, thudding into her thigh.

The second catches Coral's forehead as she leans away. Pity, you were aiming for her eye.

She screeches as blood pours from the long cut into her eyes and Nat stumbles, wavering as her leg buckles under her weight. Dean rips the spear from his shoulder and cries out as the tapered head tears at his flesh.

He raises it with a trembling arm and you watched enough during training to know that he'll miss. His grip is loose enough that when you grab for it there is no struggle. You barely aim but Nat isn't moving out of the way and it hits her somewhere in the abdomen. The next second you're grabbing Dean's arm and fleeing.

Coral's cry of rage spurs you on but Dean is lagging as more and more blood seeps from his shoulder and the pounding footsteps are rapidly gaining ground. A cannon fires and Dean crumples to his knees. You've dragged him halfway to his feet when another spear lodges itself in his chest and his entire weight drops back towards the ground, dragging you with him.

You allow yourself to fall onto your side, mindful of your packs, with the knife in your hand hidden and Dean half covering you. You hear your district partner giggle, pleased with herself.

Dean's eyes are closed and a thin stream of blood is trickling from the side of his mouth. There's nothing you can do for him now. You breathe as shallowly as you can despite the ache in your chest as your heart races. You can hear Coral's frantic breathing close by and you ready your hand around your knife.

After a few moments the tension leaves Dean's body and a cannon sounds. Coral's footsteps begin almost immediately and they taper off as she leaves your hearing range. Your breathing is laboured as you wait for complete silence before sliding out from under Dean's body.

The sun has well and truly broken the horizon as you sit up and take a deep breath, trying to steady your heart rate. You carefully remove the spear, biting your lip as you pull it free of the other boy's chest. You can handle it but that doesn't mean you _like_blood.

Carefully, you roll Dean onto his back and use the sleeve of his jumpsuit to wipe the blood from his face and the spear. "I'll make sure to tell them you tried to make it back," you murmur, laying his arm across his chest.

It takes a good thirty seconds for you to regain your balance and feel steady enough to even think about running. You make sure your packs are secure and your remaining knives are tightly secured to the belt, holding the spear loosely at the ready.

_**v.**_

There isn't even any more denying it; you're hopelessly lost. The fatigue and paranoia isn't helping your cause either. You wouldn't be surprised if you've been imagining the faint, inconsistent sound of light footsteps for the last hour but the thought that they're real is enough to keep your bloodshot eyes wide open.

"District 4?"

You whirl around, a knife already in your fingers. The little girl from7 is standing there, bouncing on her toes and looking anxious. The hulk of a boy from 12 is standing beside her, watching you intently.

Sliding the knife back into your belt immediately, you fight back irrational tears of relief. "You have no idea how glad I am that you found me," you say and your voice is weak and uneven. "I was with your ally and two of the Career girls caught up to us. They hit him with a spear, I got one of them with a knife and we ran but didn't make it very far. She left us both for dead when his cannon went off and I've been trying to find you ever since."

The little girl blinks back tears and steps closer to 12 who scoops her up onto his hip. "Acacia's following us," she says and her bright eyes aren't quite so trusting anymore. "Trying to hurt us would be stupid."

Acacia's the girl from 11, you remember her in training. "I grabbed the bow, for Katniss," you say quickly. "Just like you asked me to."

12's grey eyes light up instantly and the little girl quickly hops down and scurries over to you, stopping a few feet away. "Give your knives to Martyn and I'll take you back to our safe place," she says. "You can sleep and be ready when everyone else comes back."

You unfasten the belt and take four long steps to meet the bigger boy, who takes the belt from your hands and deftly loosens the packs from your back. They look much smaller in his massive arms.

The willowy girl from 11 appears and you blink. You don't think you've ever been this tired or wrung out in your life. She smiles kindly and you feel some of the tension seep from your exhausted muscles. "It's good to see you made it out. If you'd waited much longer we might have had to stop Katniss actually going out to look for you."

Warmth spreads all the way to your toes at her words.

_**vi.**_

You wake to the sound of girlish giggles and the deep, quiet rumble of the conversation between Martyn and the boy from 11 who had obviously returned while you were sleeping.

Carter is seated not too far away from you with a curved and serrated knife on his thigh. He offers a smile but you don't blame him for not warming to you straight away. You wouldn't have trusted a bloodstained, dirty tribute from a Career district either and with Astor and Winter there as bright red bullseyes there is no such thing as too careful.

Wriggling in the sleeping bag, you manage to sit up a little. Winter flits over to your side and smiles happily. "Did you sleep well? It's nearly dinner time, the others are back. We're gonna have rabbit!"

Your stomach growls loudly at the thought of a hot meal and the little blonde laughs at you. "Acacia's outside with Katniss," she says with a cheeky smile. "They're doing all the icky stuff to make sure it's okay to cook and eat."

The smiles stays on her face and you're pretty positive that you don't succeed in keeping your face inscrutable at the mention of the girl from leans close and her face hovers by your ear. "I think she'll be really happy you found us."

There isn't anything you can do but smile in response to that. Astor joins Winter in sitting beside you a moment later. She's less bubbly than the other girl but you can see how they banded together so tightly. They seem so much younger than the rest of you, even though there can't be more than three years between them and you and even less between them and Katniss.

"Thank you for bringing Katniss' bow," Astor says solemnly and you bite back a laugh at the earnest seriousness on her face and simply nod. She continues. "Acacia said they asked you to bring it when you came and we'd be safer when Katniss had it."

"The more weapons there are the harder it will be for anyone to get us," Winter says decisively. "Martyn says it will make hunting easier too and we'll have more food. He says he'd let her shoot an apple off his head if he had to."

You snort with laughter.

"I can't imagine Martyn putting an apple on his head," Astor says seriously. "It would be a silly thing to do. Apples are for eating, not for wearing as hats."

"It's a figure of speech," Winter says defensively. "Whit told me it just means that she's got really good aim. I would let Katniss shoot an apple off my head too!"

"I know what a figure of speech is!" Astor retorts. "I just meant it would be silly to put an apple on your head. I don't think it would even stay on someone's head long enough to get shot. They're round, they'd just roll right off."

"I bet Katniss could shoot it off before it rolled off my head!" Winter says triumphantly.

Astor looks at you pleadingly with an expression you've seen on your older sister's face entirely too often, one that says '_she is being completely irrational and you can't win arguments with crazy people. Help me._'

You're too busy trying to control the laughter bubbling in your throat to even respond. A voice, one you recognise, interrupts.

"What am I shooting off someone's head? More to the point, _why_ am I shooting something off someone's head?"

Your head whips around to face the entrance to the cave.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Apologies for the delay to whoever might still be reading this. Back to Katniss and a normal chapter length now.**_

**_i_**.

You're completely unwilling to admit just how relieved you were when you saw Raze sitting between Carter and the girls. Acacia had already told you about Dean and if you're honest with yourself, you'd already accepted the fact that one of the three cannons since the first day was for him. He wasn't made for survival in these Games and he hadn't managed to join the bigger group.

Reality hurts, but you already knew that.

Carefully rotating your makeshift spit, you catch Raze's eyes on you. Winter and Astor had evidently taken a shine to him and are settled either side of him, chatting quietly while Acacia picks through the assortment of berries and leaves you and Whit had managed to gather.

The bow is right by your side, barely a foot away, and the quiver is over your shoulder, leaving both within easy reach. The rush of gratitude and relief you felt when the boy from 4 pressed it into your hands and folded his fingers over yours was a completely overwhelming sensation.

His eyes have barely left you since you entered the cave to find Astor and Winter arguing over whether you shooting an apple off someone's head was an appropriate demonstration of skill or simply a waste of time and a stupid figure of speech. They remain on you as you wait for Whit to slide the four slabs of hare meat from the spits and pass them to you on a flat rock.

Slicing each one in half, you drop each piece of meat into one of the roughly woven makeshift bowls Acacia and the girls had spent the afternoon making. Acacia tips a portion of the assorted fruit and greens into each bowl as you place them in front of her.

It isn't much, this meagre meal you and Whit had tried to put together, and you feel your heart clench a little at the thought that Winter and Astor's bellies will only ever be properly full if you manage to bring down a big animal or sponsors decide to be kind. A quiet voice inside you points out that there's more to eat than if Dean had returned as well, and that as your numbers dwindle it will be easier to feed the mouths that remain.

Pushing the thought from your mind, you hook the bow around your elbow and grab two bowls. You find yourself beside Raze as Astor and Winter scurry to hand out the rest. "Can I sit with you?"

The corner of his mouth quirks up and his eyes dance with laughter in the dim firelight. "I wouldn't have thought you needed to ask."

You ignore the sudden flutter of your stomach and shove the bowl at him. He takes it from your hands and shifts aside a little. Settling on the ground beside him, you place your own small bowl on your lap and lay the bow across your knees.

"Thank you for the food," he says softly. "I appreciate the fact that you're all so willing to share."

"You're welcome," you say quietly. "I saw you deliberately go the other way from Winter at the launching field and Acacia told me you tried to help Dean. That makes you an ally, not an enemy."

He cracks a lopsided smile around a mouthful of food. "Winter practically flew off her plate and I wouldn't have been able to catch her even had I wanted to. I was glad, it saved me the trouble of having to even pretend and scare her."

"She's fast," you agree, picking a particularly tender piece of hare from your bowl. "How did you get away from the Careers?"

Shifting a little as you chew, he sighs. "I had to pick my moment. Ended up having to wait until my watch partner fell asleep. I grabbed a couple of packs and some weapons and then hightailed it out of there. My district partner was on to me from the beginning though, I think she suspected more than the others. She must have woken up and found me gone and brought the girl from 6 with her to track me down. I'm glad she was so determined to be the one to do it, if she hadn't cared it would have been someone from 1 or 2 and I wouldn't have ended up getting away at all."

"They're pretty brutal looking," you say quietly, rolling a berry between your fingers before popping it into your mouth. "You just headed east?"

He nods. "I practically tripped over Dean a few hours later, so we were trying to find you guys when they caught up to us. They got Dean with a spear but I managed to take the girl from 6 down. Luckily Coral didn't think to make sure I was dying after Dean's cannon went off and she left. I bolted and then was lucky enough that Martyn and Winter stumbled onto my tail this morning."

You touch his hand lightly, hoping it offers a little comfort. "They went out yesterday too," you say. "We wanted to find you and Dean. You're lucky Acacia was there though, she and Whit are the only ones who can track more than the broad side of a building."

He laughs. "You do have a bit of a ragtag bunch here," he says with a smile. "Dean kept getting east and west confused."

You cringe. "He asked me if he could eat spiders during training," you say with a sad smile. You'd liked the boy from 6, as inexperienced and daft as he'd been. "Acacia and Whit are very clever though. Martyn's strong, and Carter learns quickly. The girls are fast and they really want to help."

"You seem to know your way around that bow," he says as he tears a little piece of hare off and nods at the bow resting on your knees.

Shrugging, you run your hand along the wood lightly. "Wouldn't matter if you hadn't brought it with you."

He chuckles. "You're welcome."

_**ii.**_

The anthem begins to play as the Capitol's seal spreads across the dark sky. Martyn's warmth by your side makes the night air a little easier to bear and within a few seconds the others are huddling around you, watching the sky.

Dean's face flashes and you hear Winter sniffle and Astor bite back a tiny sob as you realise that while you're sad, you know that it was inevitable. Raze's breath hitches a little but Acacia, Carter, Martyn and Whit remain silent as it fades to be replaced with Carter's district partner. You feel very little sorrow for her as her face disappears from the sky.

_**iii.**_

Raze is asleep before watches for the night are designated and you find yourself hoping that he won't need to be woken. Being lost and having that run in with the Career girls can't have been a pleasant experience.

"Katniss and I will take first," Acacia says when you are all sitting around the fire. "Martyn and the girls second, Carter and Whit third?"

You nod and your fingers begin to pluck at the string of the bow. Astor and Winter huddle together in their sleeping bag and Martyn settles down behind them, offering you a smile. Returning it, you watch Whit set his sleeping bag a couple of metres from Raze. Carter slides into his on the other side.

Acacia reaches for your hand and tugs you closer to the mouth of the cave. You pull your hood up around your ears as you sit cross-legged beside her. The wind howls and your nose is numb after barely a few minutes, but you breathe deeply and keep your hands on your bow. It has been a frustrating day and your head is more muddled than usual so you welcome the relative ease of watch duty.

"Told you he'd find us," Acacia says quietly after a while.

Nodding, you begin to pluck at the bow string as your eyes scan the darkness. "He was lucky you found his tracks."

"The arena's pretty hard to navigate. It isn't natural. I struggle tracking and navigating more than I ever did back in 11."

"I miss the woods," you say and wrap your hands around the grip. The unease in your stomach is making your dinner sit wrong. "This place is too different and scary."

Her hand settles around your wrist, even warmer than your jumpsuit. "You're doing well, Katniss."

"I don't know why everyone is so concerned with whether I'm doing well or feeling okay," you bite out, your voice sharp. "I'm not the oldest, not the youngest. I'm not even the strongest or the cleverest."

Acacia squeezes your wrist gently. "None of that matters," she says quietly and then releases it. The subject is dropped.

Your wrist feels unbearably cold after she lets go. Swallowing thickly, you wind your fingers together and bury them in your lap. You don't knowhow long passes before you can't stand the silence anymore. The wind and the soft snoring that you think is Martyn isn't enough.

"Are you sad about Dean?" Your voice doesn't even waver and you're glad.

The older girl nods. "I wish he'd caught up with us and I'm sad he's gone but I'm also glad he wasn't on his own when they found him. He could have met a worse end if Raze hadn't been there."

"They were following Raze."

Acacia nods. "They were. You spent as much time with Dean in training as I did, Katniss. I don't have any doubt that the only reason he didn't die of cold or starvation before that was because Raze found him. I think I'd rather die by spear than by cold."

You don't have a reply for that.

"Are you upset because you're glad that Raze made it here and you don't think you should be?"

You shake your head because you aren't really upset that you're glad he's there. You're a little upset with yourself for being as glad as you are but you blame that on not being able to figure out why the boy from 4 has gotten so far under your skin already.

"Are you upset because you're not as upset about losing Dean as you think you should be?"

You consider that for a moment. "Maybe." She's right. You're glad it was Raze that made it back. He brought supplies and he was good with weapons and he was clever. Dean was a nice person but he wasn't as useful as Raze and you feel no better than the Capitol citizens who consider24 kids fighting and dying on television the highlight of their year for feeling that way.

Acacia sits herself right by your side and pulls you against her. "You're practical, Katniss. You only knew him for a few days and we all know that people die in here. Some quicker than others. You can't be heartbroken every time it happens because otherwise you'll destroy yourself."

"I feel no better than people who enjoy this," you say quietly. Her arm tightens around your shoulders and she leans in close.

"Don't ever feel like that. You were forced into this and all you're going to do is try to survive. You aren't a monster, honey. You're a human being who is trying to survive against all the odds and still stay human. I have every bit of faith that you can do that."

Your eyes are stinging because you know what they're doing and you know that it is going to become even more painfully apparent soon. The last three days have been reasonably low key and the Capitol doesn't do boring.

Things are going to heat up and that thought keeps you awake far past when your watch ends.

_**iv.**_

You're drafted to the gathering team the next morning and you're grateful for it. You can hardly keep your eyes open.

Martyn, Raze and Whit are going to be the hunting party and you and Acacia are going to take Carter and the girls and try and amass as much as you can. It seems even colder than usual as you watch Astor and Winter scurry about, getting ready.

Raze smiles at you as he makes to leave, tightening his knife belt around his waist. You allow a brief smile to cross your lips in response.

"Good luck," he says as he stops beside you on his way out. "I have a feeling it is going to be a very long day."

"Good luck as well, you might need it more. We've only found hares so far," you say, adjusting the quiver over your shoulder. "Whit knows where all our snares are though, hopefully they caught something overnight."

He nods and his hand hovers a moment before grabbing yours and squeezing briefly. When he lets go, he releases your hand suddenly and sharply like your skin has burned him. "Be careful," he says, his face inscrutable, and then he is gone.

_**v.**_

Winter and Astor pick a variety of berries that you and Whit both figure to be safe. Whit shows you some leaves that are supposed to have medicinal properties and you commit them to memory as he instructs you on how to use them.

As you venture further into the wooded area of the arena and the temperature rises a little, you find a bunch of small wild onions and a handful of edible tubers on the edge of a small lake. The girls find a few half ripe fruits that you figure can ripen further in the cave. You pick a bunch of dandelion greens for a salad and find a handful of mint leaves.

Hot mint tea would be a welcome taste of home.

_**vi.**_

The boys return mid-afternoon with a half a dozen hares but nothing else. They look frustrated and tired and you leave your pile of foraged good on the floor beside Astor and Winter, standing up and moving to Martyn's side.

"Let's go out again," you say quietly. "With Acacia. I saw some birds further into the wooded side of the arena. A better meal might boost everyone up."

He nods and motions Acacia over. His hand rests at the small of her back as he murmurs in her ear and a soft smile is on both their faces. It makes you feel a little lighter.

_**vii.**_

Three hours later, you're stalking what appears to be a fox through the brush and have already brought down a trio of odd looking birds. You feel in much better spirits, and let the fox go to live another day as you hear familiar voices nearby and silently move closer until you can just see them.

From the looks of things, Martyn and Acacia have found some more root vegetables and are putting them into a pack. Their hands touch more often than needed and the sight makes you feel like giggling. Instead, you break into a run and crash into the clearing, skidding to a stop barely a metre from them. They jump apart and look at you in a panic.

Biting back laughter, you hold up your pack triumphantly. Martyn's eyes brighten instantly. "You got something?"

"Three nice, fat birds," you say happily, removing them from the pack and hooking your fingers around their feet to hold them up. Acacia beams at you. It reminds you of home, of hunts with your father and bringing the spoils back to your mother. The thought doesn't make you sad at that moment, just wistful and glad that you found a little bit of home in this place.

You put the birds back into your pack and hike it back onto your shoulders, adjusting the quiver accordingly. Bow dangling comfortably from your left hand, you bounce on your toes a little as Acacia hurriedly packs the rest of what they gathered and Martyn hoists the pack onto his back.

"Good work, team," he says, winking at you. "The others will be very happy with this haul."

Acacia slings her arm around your shoulders and the three of you set off back towards the cave.

_**viii.**_

You're not even out of the wooded section of the arena when the wind starts. Martyn pulls you and Acacia both in front of him and keeps his hands clasped on your shoulders.

Within a minute you've had to stop because the wind is buffeting you from every direction. Acacia is trembling beside you and even Martyn's solid form is quaking with the force. You feel like you're going to take flight any moment and go sailing through the air.

The rain starts while you all stand huddled there. The drops sting where they hit your face and the wind is sending them straight through the gap sin your hood and sleeves.

It turns to hail within another minute and Martyn's hands on your shoulders push the pair of you forward. You can feel the ice breaking the skin on your face and the blood turns frozen just as quickly.

Next to nothing is visible because you have to keep ducking your head against the rain and hail and you have no doubt that you're thoroughly lost but your teeth are chattering so hard it hurts. It's becoming almost impossible to put one foot in front of the other. Acacia is faltering as well, shaking just as badly as you.

Your entire body feels sluggish and you think your fingers have frozen around the corner of the bow that you managed to keep a hold of when you pulled your arms up and into the sleeves of your jumpsuit. You can't even panic because every ounce of your concentration is on continuing to move because you know that if you lay down like you want to, it will all be over.

Hail of various sizes is coming down slightly slower now, and the rain has eased off a little. You keep your head down and try as hard as you can to keep moving even though it feels like even the blood in your veins is turning to ice.

It feels like an age later when Martyn pulls you both behind something that blocks some of the wind and hail. The three of you literally collapse against the rocks, trembling involuntarily. Acacia sits up after a little while and your senses have become fuzzy enough that you can't quite make out what she's saying even with the windbreak.

You can tell when Martyn pulls you into his lap though, and when Acacia curls herself around you. Your vision is blurring and your breathing hitches as you realise you're not going to stay conscious very much longer. Something pats your face although it is so numb that you can't be sure.

There's an indistinguishable sound, closer to you than the wind but you still can't quite make it out and then slightly more pressure is applied to your face. You blink slowly but your eyes aren't going to stay open much longer and you can't even bring yourself to panic about that either.

Acacia curls tighter around you and you lose the battle for consciousness.


End file.
